a blossom knits

sorry to hear about your bad experience. My ex turned evil after 20 years of marriage!
he had always been a bit weird, but then he started having an affair and knocking me about and mentally and verbally abusing me.( i have health problems too)He used counselling as a crutch saying it was all because of his mother's illness.
I had nowhere to go, no money and no friends.
So i made some friends got a tiny job and stayed put. Before too long I kicked him out.
I am now with a smashingly sweet chap and have loads of lovely girlfriends and a nice little job.
Life is hard though and sometimes the memory of sorrow and pain makes me ill.
I am not rich and never will be, but i am heaps happier.
blessings of light on you.

XXX

Dear Leslie

I've just stumbled across your blogg and your experiene touched my heart. I too was once in a relationship that was terribly destructive. It ended and I thought it was the end of my world, how wrong I was. It was the beginning.

So here are some of my recovery tips:
1. Indulge: hot baths with something fabulously bubbly that smells divine, candles, a great book, a wonderful glass of something (tea, wine, bubbly water) a soft robe, a good nights sleep. You will smell fabulous and be rested.
2a. Luxury: Buy some fabulous NEW yarn to create something self indulgent just for you. Think cashmere, silk, something you want to snuggle into. 2b. Buy a new set of Lingerie either fabulously luxurious to remind you that you are a sensual, fabulous woman or practical, comfortable and co-ordinated(because you've got things to do!)
3. Connect: meet your girlfriends for FABULOUS coffee (try a new kind of coffee mocha, latte, chai) in a new cafe (you find it so it's all yours) and take a book or magazine with you in case they are late. Don't talk about him, talk about your plans for your future, the great things/small things you are going to do.
4. Renew: clean out all the cupboards, closets, fridge every spot you can think of and clean that man out of your life, buy a new fabulous coloured throw, cushions, dish towels or bath towels and put flowers in your bedroom.
5. Love: look in the mirror and think about all the good things in your life including you. When that twinkle comes back into your eye it will be there yours rather than because of someone else.
6. Smile: When you walk down the streat hold your head up and smile. You'll be surprised how many people smile back. It's a little thing but it lifts the heart.
take care of you
my very best wishes
Helen

OMG - I'm horrified at him!! Congratulations on your new start - stay strong - and keep knitting - it is as good as therapy. x

First of all sorry for my english, but i think I wanted you know that you will be better and you took the right decision. I had a similar experience with my excouple and I had to leave the country i was living at that time, my job and my dreams... I thought i was lost and sometimes i still think that but i know i didnt deserve what he did to me and nobody deserve that..
Be strong you will be fine, love yourself and enjoy your life everyday.
Cariños,
Paola

leslie. glad you got out of something that was going nowhere. no one should be treated badly!
thinking of you.

Congratulations - you did the right thing, and like everyone here, I'm impressed you had the strength to do it! You will get through this!

Congratulations. I was in that same situation a few years ago, and while it is agony for a time, you will soon feel so much better. Nobody, NOBODY deserves to be treated like that, but I know how hard it is when you've been so mentally abused into thinking you do. I tried to commit suicide, I was so unhappy...now I can't understand why I was so wrapped up into that person. I wish you the best of luck. Happiness awaits you.

You deserve better. I'm sorry you hurt right now though. You have one less negative force in your life. Good for you!

I've been there and it's not easy but you've done the hardest thing....Hope you feel better soon - knitting does help...check out Ravelry for great easy patterns...make something pretty for yourself.

Good Luck!!

Helen in Malden, MA

Dear Leslie:

Six years ago, I left a marriage that sounded similar to your relationship with John. It was devastating on so many levels, but I am so thankful I had the courage to walk away when I did. My heart goes out to you. I understand the pain AND the relief. I'll be sending you good vibes and wishes through the universe. Keep your head up and know that you are on a path that will bring untold amounts of joy and many unexpected (and pleasant) surprises. You'll be in my thoughts.

Best,
Holli

Good for you. It is so hard to get out. I unfortunately have not been able to do the same and while I hope for the best in my relationship I currently do not expect the best. It is hard, and starting new is the best thing you can do; I wish I had just done that however I am giving my "him" another chance. Don't let your emotions control your life...and while that is much, much easier said than done try to do your best to not cry at every little thing, not get angry. There are plenty of men who will value you for YOU. You are obviously a smart, intelligent woman who doesn't need a piece of sh*t like your ex, nor does he come CLOSE to deserving someone like you. Keep your head up, girl--I'm here for you.